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Sep. 11th, 2008 | 12:29 am
mood: cynicalcynical

 Want to get the heebie-jeebies? Next time you hear somebody say:

"John McCain is a maverick !" 

Substitute:

"John McCain has electrolytes !"

(Note: Only works if you've seen the movie "Idiocracy."  If you haven't, you should, although it will scare the bejeebus out of you if you have a brain.)

"He's such a maverick!"
"How can he be a maverick when he votes with Bush 90% of the time?"
"Well, everybody knows he's a maverick!  Duh!"

It gets said so often, it must be true!  Why bother to think it out when someone already did it for you? And he's the Thirst Mutilator who's got what plants crave, too!

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Putting your bookshelf where your mouth is

Apr. 29th, 2008 | 09:31 pm

My sister copied this book meme from someone, so now I'm going to copy it from her, because honestly, I love to talk books.  Like she did, I'm also going to expand it to include changing the color of books I actually liked.

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What we have here is the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing’s users. As in, they sit on the shelf to make you look smart or well-rounded.

Bold the ones you've read, underline the ones you read for school, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote - I haven't finished it yet, but I really enjoy it!
Moby Dick
Ulysses - Actually, I'm currently working on this one. I loves me some Joyce.
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife - People keep telling me to read this, but it looks maudlin to me.
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - See above, re: "maudlin".
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha - In fact, I was just thinking of reading it again.
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West - And I read (and liked) the sequel, too.
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - Also currently working on it. I live in a part-time Joyce frenzy.
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange - I've read this so many times I can quote chunks of it, in nadsat.
Love in the Time of Cholera
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath 
- Incredibly awesome.
Love in the Time of Cholera
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Dune - Hated it, twice.
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces - My husband isn't really Ignatius J. Reilly, but they're certainly soulmates in some ways.
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved

Slaughterhouse Five -
I remember liking it, but I don't remember why.
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves - Rocks.
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey

The Catcher in the Rye

On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values
The Aenid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood : a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

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Dull dull dull deadly dull

Apr. 16th, 2008 | 12:37 pm
mood: listlesslistless
music: "500 Miles", the Proclaimers

Goddamn, my life is dull.  Seriously.  I'm getting to the point where I just get up each day with a Sartrean sense of nausea about facing one more day in my stupid apartment, doing pointless things on the computer, finding boring things to eat, worrying after the dogs, for ever and ever, world without end.  I realize I could and probably should do something about this, but I really can't figure out anything that doesn't seem just as pointless and ridiculous.

It's probably about time for me to take another art class.   That was the last time I remember being really happy.

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Coupla cool things

Apr. 15th, 2008 | 11:33 am

Yes, the minute I break down and use a meme, I come across some things I'd actually like to blog about.

These guys, The Typo Eradication Advancement League, are my heroes today. Thrill to their cross-country mission to fix typos wherever they may be found!



Also, please enjoy this strikingly beautiful and contemporary bridge near Oslo, that was actually designed by Leonardo da Vinci (whose birthday is today) in 1502. The Leonardo Bridge Project, headed by Norwegian painter and public art creator Vebjørn Sand, seeks to build more of these bridges in locations on every continent, as a symbol of connecting people and bridging the past with the future.

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Again with spiders

Apr. 15th, 2008 | 11:13 am

OK, I've thought it was kind of lame to do blog posts based on blog memes, but at least it motivates me to write something. So I got this from my pal ashti25:

"ACHTUNG!
wingedelephant may actually be a spider-human hybrid

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Aside from cracking me up, I had to say I was slightly startled about the spider reference. I take this kind of lame quiz all the time, since I have no life. Around the time the movie of The Golden Compass came out, I took a little quiz at the movie site to find out what kind of daemon I would supposedly have, the animal companion that expresses some aspect of my inner self. Mine was a spider, which was a little disappointing - not very cuddly for a pet - but intriguing. Still pondering it, and here's spiders again.

The bad punctuation on my sign, however, is most definitely not expressive of me.

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Last updated 106 weeks ago?

Apr. 8th, 2008 | 01:46 pm

Really? Dang.

Not like there's a whole lot in my life to discuss, really.  Very little happens to me; maybe that's how everyone feels.  Mostly my life is full of my sick dog right now, and honestly, who wants to hear about that endlessly?  Even I don't.  I certainly wish there were something on my mind today rather than the futility of controlling the bleeding in an ulcerated tumor, and whether her new medicaction is likely to poison my other dog.  It seems everything else I think about is also so cyclic: frustrations with my spouse and friends, frustration with keeping house, things I read about or watch on TV...it seems pretty dull.  Maybe, though, it would be good for me to think about it more.

They need a Mood tag for "overwhelming futile ennui with soupcons of rage and melancholia".

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Lovely

Mar. 28th, 2006 | 12:39 am
mood: touchedtouched

I'm cribbing this from Garrison Keillor's "The Writer's Almanac" (http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/), which is almost invariably fascinating for a reader and history lover:

"On this day in 1912, President Taft's wife and the wife of the ambassador from Japan planted the first of Washington D.C.'s cherry trees. The cuttings were scions from the most famous trees in Tokyo, the ones that grow along the banks of the Arakawa River. Workers took over, and thousands of cherry trees - all gifts from the Japanese government - were planted around the Tidal Basin. During the Second World War, Tokyo lost scores of cherry trees in the allied bombing raids; after the surrender, horticulturists took cuttings from the trees in Washington and sent them back to Tokyo. Years later, some of the Washington trees died, and Tokyo sent cuttings back across the Pacific."

There's something breathtakingly lovely about this. The thought has a sweet essence of time clinging to it, the gentle combination of ephemerality and eternity that characterizes the trees themselves as well. I'm utterly charmed by it.

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Fat is not "the" problem

Mar. 17th, 2006 | 09:16 pm
mood: cynicalcynical

Here's something I'm always trying to get across to people, especially people who say things like, "Oh, X worked for me, you should try it, I'm sure it would help you," and "It's simple, all you have to do is X to lose weight."

Being fat is a symptom or trait, not an illness or problem in itself. I am absolutely certain high weight is caused by many possible factors, so I do not believe that there is a perfect fix for everyone. If you have a sore foot, you try to figure out what's wrong to cause the symptom. It might be a bruised toe, a splinter in the sole, or a broken bone. If your bone is broken, no amount of trying to take out a splinter is going to help. It may also be that your shoes are too tight, in which case you need new shoes, or you simply have something shaped differently in your foot that you were born with, and you may just have to do your best and cope with it.

Being fat is the same way. Some people may be fat because they eat the wrong food, some may have imbalanced hormones, some may need more exercise, and some have genes that cause a bigger body, and there are probably reasons we don't understand yet. But for some reason people can't get their heads around the idea that it's like the sore foot - treating a particular cause for the symptom won't help someone who has a different cause, and there are some people we don't have a treatment for yet who just have to do their best and cope.

To me, this is really obvious, but lots of people have weird ideas about fatness that makes them see it as an It, some monolithic monster that must be conquered with a magic silver bullet. So they keep trying to give diets to people with imbalanced hormones, with as much success as you'd get curing a meningitis headache with an antihistamine.
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How's that again?

Mar. 6th, 2006 | 05:18 pm
mood: amusedamused

It only seems fitting that I should report here the results of this year's Diagram Award from Bookseller Magazine for the oddest book title. This is the award's 28th year, so it's no passing fad; readers, librarians, and booksellers worldwide submit titles for consideration, then a public vote is taken after Bookseller staff compose the short list.

Out of 50+ entries this year, the short list included Rhino Horn Stockpile Management, Soil Nailing: Best Practices Guidance, Bullying and Sexual Harrassment: A Practical Handbook, Nessus, Snort and Ethereal Powertools, and Ancient Starch Research.

And the winner is:

People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What To Do About It.

Last year's winner was Bombproof Your Horse. Previous winners include Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers, How to Avoid Huge Ships, Reusing Old Graves, The Joy of Chickens, and Proceedings of the Second International Workshop on Nude Mice. And also Living with Crazy Buttocks.
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Please no

Mar. 4th, 2006 | 12:58 am
mood: cynicalcynical

Two more thoughts from traffic jams:

1) A word I saw on a sign: "escentuals". Yes, check that out, someone thought they were being clever to combine three words (essentials, scent, and sensual) to create one horrific Frankenword, lurching around clumsily, expressing nothing clearly and frightening onlookers who had to avert their faces from the tragedy. (OK, maybe only one onlooker, but still.) No wonder nobody in America can spell. People, I beg you to stop the madness, for the sake of.......the children.

2) You know those signs by the road that say "Please don't drink and drive" attached to one or more names of (presumably) victims of drunk driver accidents? Does anyone think for a moment that those have actually ever stopped anyone from driving drunk? Really?

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